My First Ever Journal Entry: On Human Nature and Realizing My Potential

[Written on March 1, 1994 – 3 days before my 20th Birthday!]

This is the first time I am writing, so I’m not really so sure what to expect.  Reading Mill has given me a sudden interest in the subject of human nature:

“A stupid person’s notions and feelings may confidently be inferred from those which prevail in the circle by which the person is surrounded.  Not so with those whose opinions and feelings are an emanation from their own nature and faculties.”

– John Stuart Mill, Subjugation of Women (Pg. 24)

I want to fully realize the potential of my own nature so as not to be a product of my environment.  I want to have an impact; I need an outlet to express myself, and I want to convey my opinions and ideas to others.  But somehow, I doubt my own aspirations, questioning my true desire and determination to engage in any activity or embark on any journey which requires indefatigable effort and dedication.  Do I have that ‘eccentricity’ which Mill speaks of, in me?  Can I discover it in myself if I find my purpose in life?  Am I committed enough to even attempt to find the answers to these questions?  Well, I’ve taken the first step [today, by starting this journal].  So often I’ve had interesting thoughts and ideas, about the same subjects that the great thinkers contemplate, and others of my own, which I’ve wanted to express by either writing down or telling somebody.  But I didn’t do it, for reasons which I’m not so sure of.  I suppose that I’d been thinking that nobody else would care what I thought about human nature, when they could read the authors on my Syllabus, the greatest thinkers in history [Inferiority Complex, maybe?  Or I just didn’t see the point of what good it would do me or others].

Now however, I realize its importance, though not fully.  By writing down passing thoughts and my opinions on the great author’s views, or just general thoughts about personal life events and observations, I would give myself an opportunity to reflect upon my thoughts without having to retrieve what may have been fleeting but brilliant thoughts.  Through reflection and comparison of my thoughts will come development and growth of my mental capacities, analytic ability, intellect, writing skills, argumentative skills, persuasion skills and more.  I will also be more inclined to express myself in both the private and public domain due to the enhanced level of thinking and (hopefully) self-confidence.  For the benefit of my future aspirations in business, I will be able to develop confidence in my abilities and opinions, as well as overcome psychological barriers which sometimes restrain me from being outspoken in public and even private conversations with intellectually superior and highly articulate or critical people.  I would like to be able to think clearly in all circumstances, being able to argue my points and views eloquently under the most pressure-packed circumstances.  This is what I hope to accomplish, and much more which I don’t have time for right now.

Going to bed.  Happy to break the ice.  Great start!